When I was younger, in my early teens, I believed that leadership was a special gift meant only for a select few. I thought this talent was divinely given, and if God didn’t bestow it upon you, you simply couldn’t possess it. This notion was shared by many in my age group and community.

I recall expressing a desire to become the President of Nigeria one day, convinced that I was among the fortunate few endowed with leadership abilities. However, a friend of mine, who used to call me “Star Boy” back in primary school, scoffed at my ambition. “Yes, you’re intelligent,” he said, “but leadership is a birthright for some, and it’s not yours.”

His words deflated my aspirations, and I began to doubt my potential to make a significant impact. I resigned myself to the idea of becoming a local chief instead of aiming for the presidency. As I grew older and my understanding of various subjects deepened, my perspective on leadership evolved. Today, I view leadership not as an inherent talent but as a skill that, like communication, writing, or coding, can be learned by anyone willing to put in the efforts.

What Leadership is Not

Before delving into what leadership is, it’s essential to clarify what it is not. Many people, including myself in the past, hold misconceptions about leadership. Understanding these misconceptions helps pave the way for a clearer grasp of true leadership.

1. Leadership is not just about occupying a position.

Often, we equate leadership with positions of authority—managers, CEOs, politicians, etc. However, merely holding a position does not make one a leader. A position can give someone power, but true leadership comes from the ability to inspire and influence others, regardless of one’s title.

For example, consider a manager who has the title but lacks the respect and trust of their team. Such a person might have the authority to make decisions, but without the team’s support and willingness to follow, their effectiveness is limited. On the other hand, someone without a formal title but who consistently demonstrates reliability, offers valuable insights, and supports their peers can naturally emerge as a leader.

2. Leadership is not a title.

Titles can be deceiving. A prominent title like “Director” or “President” might imply leadership, but it doesn’t guarantee the presence of leadership qualities. True leadership is characterized by actions and behaviors, not by the titles one holds.

Take, for instance, a person with the title of “CEO.” If they don’t possess the ability to connect with their employees, inspire innovation, or make decisions that benefit the organization, their title is meaningless. In contrast, a team member without a formal title who motivates colleagues, drives positive change, and leads by example exhibits true leadership.

3. Leadership is not about being the smartest person in the room.

While I was much younger, I always wanted to be the one to proffer the solution to the problem being faced, the one to come with the next big idea that will move the team forward. But, I was wrong and that is one of the common misconceptions about leadership – that leaders must always be the most knowledgeable or skilled individuals in their fields.

While knowledge and expertise are valuable, leadership is more about the ability to leverage the strengths of others and foster a collaborative environment. Effective leaders recognize that they don’t have all the answers and are willing to listen, learn, and delegate. 

4. Leadership is not about commanding and controlling.

Some people equate leadership with authority and control, believing that leaders must always be in charge and directing others. However, leadership is more about guiding and empowering others to achieve common goals. Commanding and controlling can stifle creativity and innovation, whereas empowering others fosters a sense of ownership and encourages team members to take initiative.

5. Leadership is not about being perfect.

Many assume that leaders must be flawless and without weaknesses. In reality, leaders are human and make mistakes. What sets true leaders apart is their ability to acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them, and demonstrate resilience. They show vulnerability, which can build trust and authenticity within their teams.

By dispelling these misconceptions, we can begin to understand that leadership is not confined to titles, positions, or traditional notions of authority. Leadership is about influence, authenticity, and the ability to inspire and guide others towards a shared vision.

Defining Leadership

John C. Maxwell offered a succinct definition of leadership when he stated: “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” Despite its simplicity, this concept can be perplexing. During one of my many leadership training sessions, someone once asked me, “But Sir Vic, what is influence?” If you also have that question, I’ll share the same response I gave her: “Influence is the ability to affect the thoughts, decisions, and actions of others.” When you can do this, you are exercising leadership.

Influence goes beyond mere authority or control. It’s about inspiring and motivating others to follow your lead because they believe in your vision and trust your judgment. Influence can be subtle, manifesting in everyday interactions and decisions. It’s not confined to grand gestures but can be seen in the simple act of guiding someone through a problem or encouraging a colleague to pursue their goals.

A leader is someone who exercises this influence consistently and effectively. Reflect on your past experiences, and you’ll likely find moments when you influenced those around you. Perhaps you advised a friend on a difficult decision, inspired a team at work to achieve a common goal, or motivated a family member to pursue a dream. At those times, you were practicing leadership, even if you didn’t recognize it as such.

Leadership is not confined to formal roles or titles. It’s about the impact you have on others. You don’t need to be a CEO, a manager, or hold any official position to be a leader. Leadership is accessible to everyone, regardless of their status or background. It starts with understanding that your actions, words, and attitudes can shape the world around you.

In my journey, I’ve come to appreciate that true leadership is about serving others and helping them realize their potential. It’s about creating an environment where people feel valued, empowered, and motivated to contribute their best. This perspective shift—from seeing leadership as a position to understanding it as an influence—has profoundly impacted how I lead and interact with others. By accepting the idea that leadership is influence, you open yourself to endless possibilities for personal growth and positive impact. You start to see every interaction as an opportunity to lead and every challenge as a chance to influence. This mindset fosters a sense of responsibility and purpose, driving you to continuously develop your skills, build meaningful relationships, and strive for excellence in all you do.

So, as you reflect on your journey and identify moments of influence, recognize that you have been practicing leadership all along. Embrace this understanding and continue to cultivate your ability to inspire, motivate, and guide others. In doing so, you’ll not only enhance your leadership skills but also contribute to creating a more positive and empowered community around you.

Embarking on the Leadership Journey

To embark on the journey of leadership, you must first grow yourself into someone others can follow. This means becoming a person whose decisions and actions are trusted and influential. So, how do you increase your influence?

1. Grow Yourself into a Valuable Person:

The value you build within yourself attracts others to you. While many seek external symbols of value—designer clothes, expensive gadgets, etc.—true value is internal. To help you in becoming a valuable person, you need to understand what I refer to as the “ARC of Value”, ARC here is an acronym for Ability, Reliability and Credibility, and Connectivity. This concept is important as it is your skills, reliability, credibility, and ability to connect with others that make you truly valuable. 

Ability

This refers to what you can do and how well you do it. To grow your ability, continually seek knowledge and practice your skills. Take courses, read books, attend workshops, and practice diligently. Remember, proficiency comes from consistent effort and learning from failures. Reflect on your experiences to understand what works and what doesn’t, and keep improving.

Reliability and Credibility

People must trust and believe in you. Reliability means consistently meeting your commitments and being dependable. Credibility is built over time through your actions and achievements. To enhance these qualities, always keep your promises, be honest, and admit your mistakes. Show others that they can count on you and that your word is your bond.

Connectivity

Good interpersonal skills are essential for connecting with and influencing others. To improve your connectivity, work on your communication skills—both listening and speaking. Show genuine interest in others, empathize with their situations, and offer support. Building strong, authentic relationships is key to becoming a valued and trusted leader.

2. Consistently Add Value to Others:

When you have successfully grown yourself into a person of value, you will need to create and add value to others. When you do this, they recognize and respect you. This, in turn, increases your influence. Here are ways to consistently add value:

Identify Needs:

Understand the needs and challenges of those around you. This requires active listening and empathy. By paying attention to what people say and observing their behavior, you can identify areas where you can help.

Offer Solutions:

Use your skills and knowledge to provide practical solutions to others’ problems. Whether it’s offering advice, sharing resources, or directly helping with a task, your willingness to assist can significantly impact their lives.

Encourage and Support:

Offer encouragement and support to those pursuing their goals. Acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their successes. Providing a positive and supportive environment can motivate others to achieve more and view you as a leader they can trust.

Share Your Knowledge:

Share your expertise and experiences with others. Conduct workshops, write articles, mentor someone, or simply offer guidance when asked. By being generous with your knowledge, you help others grow and develop, which enhances your influence.

Concluding Thoughts

Leadership is a never-ending journey. You must define the kind of leader you aspire to be and commit to becoming that person. Leadership is fundamentally about influence, and to influence others, you must first become someone worth following by becoming a person of value. So, focus on growing yourself into that person and you do, consistently find ways to add value to others.  Leadership is not about titles or positions but about making a positive impact on the lives of those around you. Start with yourself, build your internal value, and extend that value to others. 

So, the journey of leadership begins with you.